Day 9 of my survivor series

The pain is still as fresh as it was last week.
Nym is now a walking zombie, without wits or any common sense whatsoever, so if you find her staring off into space in the middle of the road, be corteous enough to push her in the sidewalk.

Yesterday I went to TAPTAP with Jeff. What supposedly was a reflection time for me turned out to be one of the most depressing times of my life. Jeff made it more melancholic by playing "ashes and wine".

That morning, I was full of hate and bitterness with my own self that I forwarded all the messages given by Ryan to him back, we argued and argued till i got exhausted and said " How many times do I have to offer my heart to you? You are so closedminded!"
he retaliated with one of the saddest messages I've ever recieved:
"How many times are you gonna hurt me when I open up for you?"

I've been in denial for so long that when I texted him what I said, it came out late...and wrong.
"I'm scared of you cause you are the one"
he then texted me with "coz you don't think"
my last message was "i do. i should've just put your decision my priority above everything else" + "my freedom is such a small price to pay compared to losing you"
and all went silent.

and now he's back to the same lost, confused and broken he once was before we met.
come home to me, we belong together.
Breathing is such a task without you...

As I've said to Jeff, this is the kind of love story that you would tell to your grandchildren.