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Thursday, September 27, 2007
A tribute
At times, I've been given the big handshake at parties (which i like attending whenever possible) by someone who, then, with an air of gleeful conspiracy,will say, “You know, I've always wanted to write.”
I used to try to be polite.
These days I reply with the same jubilant excitement: “ You know, I've always wanted to be a call center agent.” (not really considering the fact that I WAS twice before,but sarcasm is such a dear friend of mine)
They look puzzled. It doesn't matter. There are a lot of puzzled people wandering around lately.
If you want to write, you write.
The only way to learn to write is by writing. And that would not be useful approach to being a call center agent.
Stephen King and Lawrence Sanders always wanted to write. And they write.
So they wrote Carrie and “Salem's Lot”, “The Shining”, “The First Deadly Sin” etc and other good short stories and other stupendous number of other stories and books and fragments and poems and essays and other unclassifiable things, most of them too wretched to ever be published.
Because that is the way it is done.
Because there is no other way to do it. Not one other way.
Compulsive diligence is almost enough. But not quite. You have to have a taste for words. Gluttony. You have to want to roll in them. You have to read millions of them written by other people. You read everything with grinding envy or a weary contempt.
You save the most contempt for the people who conceal ineptitude with long words, Germanic sentence structure, obtrusive symbols, and no sense of story, pace or character.
Then you have to start knowing yourself so well that you begin to know other people. A piece of us is in every person we can ever meet.
Okay then, stupendous diligence, plus word-love, plus empathy and out of that can come, painfully, some objectivity. Never total objectivity.
At this frangible moment in time I am typing these worlds on a computer, knowing clearly the flavor and meaning I am hunting for, but not at all certain I am getting it.
As a writer that they are, they send books out into the world and it is very hard to shuck them out of the spirit. They are tangled children, trying to make their way in spite of the handicaps you have imposed on them. I am sure that Stephen King and Lawrence Sanders would give a pretty to get them all back home and take one last good swing at every one of them. Page by page. Digging and cleaning, brushing and furbishing. Tidying up.
Stephen King and Lawrence Sanders are far, far better writer at thirty when I'll reach thirty (of course!)
I am entitled to hate them a little bit for this.
And I think I know of a dozen demons hiding in the bushes where their path leads, and even if I had a way to warn them, it would do no good. They whip 'em away, or they whip them.
It is exactly that simple. Are we all together so far?
Diligence, word-lust, empathy equal growing objectivity and then what?
Of course, the Story.
Story is something happening to someone you have been led to care about. It can happen in any dimension-physical, mental, spiritual-and in combinations of those dimensions.
Without author intrusion.
There are a lot of slithering in here, and there is a maddened computer keyboard that haunts me, as it will you, and there are enough persuasively evil children to fill Disney World on any Sunday of December, but the main thing is story.
One is led to care.
Note this. Two of the most difficult areas to write in are humor and the occult. In clumsy hands the humor turns to dirge and the occult turns to funny.
But once you know, you can write in any area.
Stephen King and Lawrence Sanders never restricted themselves to their present field of intense interest.
They don't write to please us. They write to please themselves. I am going to please myself. When that happens, you will like my articles too. (*wish *wish)
I used to try to be polite.
These days I reply with the same jubilant excitement: “ You know, I've always wanted to be a call center agent.” (not really considering the fact that I WAS twice before,but sarcasm is such a dear friend of mine)
They look puzzled. It doesn't matter. There are a lot of puzzled people wandering around lately.
If you want to write, you write.
The only way to learn to write is by writing. And that would not be useful approach to being a call center agent.
Stephen King and Lawrence Sanders always wanted to write. And they write.
So they wrote Carrie and “Salem's Lot”, “The Shining”, “The First Deadly Sin” etc and other good short stories and other stupendous number of other stories and books and fragments and poems and essays and other unclassifiable things, most of them too wretched to ever be published.
Because that is the way it is done.
Because there is no other way to do it. Not one other way.
Compulsive diligence is almost enough. But not quite. You have to have a taste for words. Gluttony. You have to want to roll in them. You have to read millions of them written by other people. You read everything with grinding envy or a weary contempt.
You save the most contempt for the people who conceal ineptitude with long words, Germanic sentence structure, obtrusive symbols, and no sense of story, pace or character.
Then you have to start knowing yourself so well that you begin to know other people. A piece of us is in every person we can ever meet.
Okay then, stupendous diligence, plus word-love, plus empathy and out of that can come, painfully, some objectivity. Never total objectivity.
At this frangible moment in time I am typing these worlds on a computer, knowing clearly the flavor and meaning I am hunting for, but not at all certain I am getting it.
As a writer that they are, they send books out into the world and it is very hard to shuck them out of the spirit. They are tangled children, trying to make their way in spite of the handicaps you have imposed on them. I am sure that Stephen King and Lawrence Sanders would give a pretty to get them all back home and take one last good swing at every one of them. Page by page. Digging and cleaning, brushing and furbishing. Tidying up.
Stephen King and Lawrence Sanders are far, far better writer at thirty when I'll reach thirty (of course!)
I am entitled to hate them a little bit for this.
And I think I know of a dozen demons hiding in the bushes where their path leads, and even if I had a way to warn them, it would do no good. They whip 'em away, or they whip them.
It is exactly that simple. Are we all together so far?
Diligence, word-lust, empathy equal growing objectivity and then what?
Of course, the Story.
Story is something happening to someone you have been led to care about. It can happen in any dimension-physical, mental, spiritual-and in combinations of those dimensions.
Without author intrusion.
There are a lot of slithering in here, and there is a maddened computer keyboard that haunts me, as it will you, and there are enough persuasively evil children to fill Disney World on any Sunday of December, but the main thing is story.
One is led to care.
Note this. Two of the most difficult areas to write in are humor and the occult. In clumsy hands the humor turns to dirge and the occult turns to funny.
But once you know, you can write in any area.
Stephen King and Lawrence Sanders never restricted themselves to their present field of intense interest.
They don't write to please us. They write to please themselves. I am going to please myself. When that happens, you will like my articles too. (*wish *wish)
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
jap!
i've been watching alot of anime movies online.
the theme i'm usually looking for is somekinduva "chick-flick" on american lingo so to speak. in short, teenie anime movies... (not naruto,devil may cry or wtv)
so i've learned many things about their culture.
warning: this is a personal opinion only by the blogger.
i just noticed the high school girls are really, and i mean, really uber conscious about their weight.. and chest size too.
they are also uber conservative when ti comes to having a crush on someone. oh well, anime is a huge exaj, but from my POV, they'd rather die than having their crush now they like them.
and! "middle schoolers are japan's number one brand!" hahaha!!
ich. im such a perv.
the theme i'm usually looking for is somekinduva "chick-flick" on american lingo so to speak. in short, teenie anime movies... (not naruto,devil may cry or wtv)
so i've learned many things about their culture.
warning: this is a personal opinion only by the blogger.
i just noticed the high school girls are really, and i mean, really uber conscious about their weight.. and chest size too.
they are also uber conservative when ti comes to having a crush on someone. oh well, anime is a huge exaj, but from my POV, they'd rather die than having their crush now they like them.
and! "middle schoolers are japan's number one brand!" hahaha!!
ich. im such a perv.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Devon Aoki
i am such a loser... i know i am BUT it actually took me four years to watch DOA.. i dont play the game so im not that much of a fan till I saw Devon Aoki, who plays Kasumi, the younger sister of the Champion DOA player the year before.
Here is what she looks like. yes, she is the same girl whose movies include rogue assasin and too fast too furious. :))
wait, the inet here is crappy, i can't upload a pic of her.. hot damn.. i'll convert it to jpeg first, maybe there is something wrong with photobucket regarding uploading bmp. images or something... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!
wait, now bmp is actually way larger than jpeg.. so here she is..
isn't she the sweetest thing? :)
Here is what she looks like. yes, she is the same girl whose movies include rogue assasin and too fast too furious. :))
wait, the inet here is crappy, i can't upload a pic of her.. hot damn.. i'll convert it to jpeg first, maybe there is something wrong with photobucket regarding uploading bmp. images or something... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!
wait, now bmp is actually way larger than jpeg.. so here she is..
isn't she the sweetest thing? :)
Monday, September 17, 2007
1 tablet, 2 tablets, 3 tablets, 4 tablets
i don't wanna get used to poppin' 2 Excedrins or 2 Aleeve's whenever i have a minor headache...
but i think i like taking meds in every chance i can get.. but this is applicable to headaches ONLY.
i don't wanna get hooked. but i think i am....
but i think i like taking meds in every chance i can get.. but this is applicable to headaches ONLY.
i don't wanna get hooked. but i think i am....
Monday, September 10, 2007
first blood
i could name 2 people who read my blog. both of them are close to me despite the difference of our sexes (they are into abstaining. omg.lol. what a punny joke. ich. im losing my touch. im becoming a midget writer again. ugh.)
ANYHOO. so i'm really comfortable with the fact that they are the only ones who read this. SO i could tell em everything.
ok, it was the first day of my period yesterday (monday). i'm not used to having my "first blood" on mondays. it's usually on a sunday (murag, 1 out of 1687321687464968 chance that my period would begin on a monday)... because it was a *#$$%## school day, i wasn't able to lie on my tummy and mourn the whole day. for godssake, i have a class. ahuhuhu....
so i decided to go to gecube early and check out if my friends are already there. i went to jellai's fave cubicle and i found her there.. since everything down "there" hurts, i'm not really in the mood to play. so i just sat beside jelai (cubicle number 47) and told her what a horrible day it's gonna be. she just played dota and laughed and chuckled at the right time. in a strange way, she made me feel better by just doing that...
that's also when i started begging her to just kill me in order for me to stop feeling the dysme pain anymore....
2nd day of my period (today)
i have to pay my semi-final dues. i'd gladly give my pinky to just about anyone who would do the honorable duty of paying my semi-final dues. waiting in line isn't actually my forte, you know.
since my mom has to leave early for work, she just gave me the money under my pillow while i was still sleeping. she gave me clear instructions on what to do with the extra money while i was still incoherent and half asleep. mum, i forgot already what you said but i paid my dues, i swear!. what i can't forget was "the phrase"--anak, may dala kang pera, gamiting mo yung underwear mo na may pocket, ilagay mo dun tapos kunin mo nalang pag nasa loob ka na ng school (my mom speaks tagalog and she absolutely refuses to learn bisaya)
and like the innocent,dutiful,kind,respectful daughter that i am, i followed her orders, never really realizing at the last minute as to what i'm actually doing....
and when it finally dawned on me.. i just said... "wow" whether it smells kinda rusty or not, it's still money..
LOL....---mao nay mabuhat sa drugs. HEHEHEHE
ANYHOO. so i'm really comfortable with the fact that they are the only ones who read this. SO i could tell em everything.
ok, it was the first day of my period yesterday (monday). i'm not used to having my "first blood" on mondays. it's usually on a sunday (murag, 1 out of 1687321687464968 chance that my period would begin on a monday)... because it was a *#$$%## school day, i wasn't able to lie on my tummy and mourn the whole day. for godssake, i have a class. ahuhuhu....
so i decided to go to gecube early and check out if my friends are already there. i went to jellai's fave cubicle and i found her there.. since everything down "there" hurts, i'm not really in the mood to play. so i just sat beside jelai (cubicle number 47) and told her what a horrible day it's gonna be. she just played dota and laughed and chuckled at the right time. in a strange way, she made me feel better by just doing that...
that's also when i started begging her to just kill me in order for me to stop feeling the dysme pain anymore....
2nd day of my period (today)
i have to pay my semi-final dues. i'd gladly give my pinky to just about anyone who would do the honorable duty of paying my semi-final dues. waiting in line isn't actually my forte, you know.
since my mom has to leave early for work, she just gave me the money under my pillow while i was still sleeping. she gave me clear instructions on what to do with the extra money while i was still incoherent and half asleep. mum, i forgot already what you said but i paid my dues, i swear!. what i can't forget was "the phrase"--anak, may dala kang pera, gamiting mo yung underwear mo na may pocket, ilagay mo dun tapos kunin mo nalang pag nasa loob ka na ng school (my mom speaks tagalog and she absolutely refuses to learn bisaya)
and like the innocent,dutiful,kind,respectful daughter that i am, i followed her orders, never really realizing at the last minute as to what i'm actually doing....
and when it finally dawned on me.. i just said... "wow" whether it smells kinda rusty or not, it's still money..
LOL....---mao nay mabuhat sa drugs. HEHEHEHE
auhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....
i've taken a liking on not having a load..
subconciously, it gives me lesser pressure. somehow, i feel like i'm not attached to a miniscule flip gadget anymore... it gives me a certain peace of mind on not having to wait for a text... or not checking on my phone and feeling this need to text someone. or anyone.
if, by some strange incidence, someone would look for me, all they have to do is call (ng pa presyo bya c nym)
now that i've mentioned this, maybe i should uh, start to somehow let go of some unnecessary issues that are running inside my head right now.... maybe i should just let go of the issue of me not having a haircut.. of course, i've also taken into consideration the fact that i'm really gonna look for a violet dye and dye myself with violet streaks....
of couse, as a compensation (before!) since i wasn't able to find a violet dye, i just compromised with a dark red one...i followed the process of blah blah blah -u know what. then was uber surprised when i washed my hair, tada!!! it was uber uber bright red..... of course, i bullied ryan into letting his hair be dyed by yours truly (what a grave grave mistake)...
hence, the born of the badjao couple.
maybe i should really shave my hair and be a buddhist monk. seriously.
subconciously, it gives me lesser pressure. somehow, i feel like i'm not attached to a miniscule flip gadget anymore... it gives me a certain peace of mind on not having to wait for a text... or not checking on my phone and feeling this need to text someone. or anyone.
if, by some strange incidence, someone would look for me, all they have to do is call (ng pa presyo bya c nym)
now that i've mentioned this, maybe i should uh, start to somehow let go of some unnecessary issues that are running inside my head right now.... maybe i should just let go of the issue of me not having a haircut.. of course, i've also taken into consideration the fact that i'm really gonna look for a violet dye and dye myself with violet streaks....
of couse, as a compensation (before!) since i wasn't able to find a violet dye, i just compromised with a dark red one...i followed the process of blah blah blah -u know what. then was uber surprised when i washed my hair, tada!!! it was uber uber bright red..... of course, i bullied ryan into letting his hair be dyed by yours truly (what a grave grave mistake)...
hence, the born of the badjao couple.
maybe i should really shave my hair and be a buddhist monk. seriously.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
..and just as i thought i've heard,tried,tasted and been asked about everything already....
law 113 (law on negotiable instruments class)
boy 1 (seatmate) : bai, (to the guy on the other side) naa'y iyottube no?
boy2 : naa lagi bai. ako gi-tanaw.
boy 1: ayaw cge ug paminuang gud. tarung bitaw.
boy 2: lagi, naa pa gani ko'y video didto.
intrams week at ryan's sofa watching random shows
ryan: beb, do you know what's the meaning of devalue?
nym:opposite of giving value, or value itself.
ryan:d oi.
nym: saman diay?
ryan: the letter between v and x
nym: -__-
another day in francisca ville, banawa
ryan: beb, do you know what's the name of the smaller version of table?
nym: TABLET
ryan:atay.
ryan: how about the smaller version of plate?
nym: PLATITO. ryan, don't get me started..
..reading "ang paboritong libro ni judas-bob ong"
excerpt:
..."of course, overrated na kasi yang justice league. superfriends pa rin ako..mas magaling pa rin gumawa ng shows ang japanese.....Pinaka favorite ko talaga si Astroboy, biro mo, saan ka makakakita ng superhero,sa buong mundo, na may shotgun sa pwet? sabihin mo kung saan!"
...to be updated later.
MAYBE.
everytime people predict the specific day that world would end.... God pushes it backa little bit just to be funny.
**i am feeling stressed out.
there are lots of things in my mind right now (about 56.5598423 % of which is about my computer at home)
i need money. MONEY.
to upgrade my processor,or i hafta buy another RAM..and all those techie stuff my bf has been raving about.
i'd rather eat seafood ramen at tokyo joes.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Mothers know best
my boyfriend's mom likes me. or so he says.
he also told me that of all his girlfriends, i was the only one who bonded with his mom the most.
*kilig plus "yes"
lol
he also told me that of all his girlfriends, i was the only one who bonded with his mom the most.
*kilig plus "yes"
lol
Monday, September 3, 2007
smile plus kilig factor
like most days, i am pissed off today. i'm sure that if you're in my place, you'd think it's no big deal.
but i have an obssesive~compulsive disorder slash behavior. so it really irked me when i found out that my green bottle of lotion is missing. aside from that, my curtains were removed (thrice!) within this week and was discarded, leaving my windows BARE.
i felt like crying and calling my mum.
too bad dli cya sun.
but i have an obssesive~compulsive disorder slash behavior. so it really irked me when i found out that my green bottle of lotion is missing. aside from that, my curtains were removed (thrice!) within this week and was discarded, leaving my windows BARE.
i felt like crying and calling my mum.
too bad dli cya sun.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Metro-Aid Look this Monday
she just made my day and i can't stop laughing when i sawher.
i was playing "perfect world" (still) at this i-net cafe and we have the same tambayan place. she's the trying hard,feeling chinese,dunno-how-to-speak-english,car-hog,shotgun barrel-nosed girl who hangs out here cause i honestly dont know why. we are gamers here and she's one of the few who hangs out here who doesn't know any games.
friendster is not an online game.
she also happens to be my corp-mate and her name is elizabeth vivares.
i could name a few who hates her. but i think i'm the only one who hates her. i mean, really hate.
today she showed up with a new wig..er haircut that looks like the broom of the metro aid users along downtown.
i think im gonna die laughing
i was playing "perfect world" (still) at this i-net cafe and we have the same tambayan place. she's the trying hard,feeling chinese,dunno-how-to-speak-english,car-hog,shotgun barrel-nosed girl who hangs out here cause i honestly dont know why. we are gamers here and she's one of the few who hangs out here who doesn't know any games.
friendster is not an online game.
she also happens to be my corp-mate and her name is elizabeth vivares.
i could name a few who hates her. but i think i'm the only one who hates her. i mean, really hate.
today she showed up with a new wig..er haircut that looks like the broom of the metro aid users along downtown.
i think im gonna die laughing
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