Monday, April 20, 2009

Existentialism-Thy name is Nym

here goes my first basic speech for Toastmasters:

Haha- there, I just told a joke.
My name is Nym.
Seriously.
Either my parents have a corny sense of humor, or they got confused with noun usage.
I'm sensing neither.

My complete first name is Nym Wales (what?). Yep, you heard it right. And no, I'm not gonna say it again in fear of having deductions for redundancy.
When asked as to where I got my name, I tell people that it's a pen nameo f a chinese communist writer, which is true. It a bit deep right? but honestly, I just googled my answer.
I grew up in manila, a place where they think molotov cocktails are actually cocktails. For someone who has a unique name (albeit a friendster doppleganger), I had a pretty normal childhood. I was raised to act like a boy during my formative years.
I guess it's a subconcious disappointment of my dad that his only child is a girl, sans the girl-y upbringing. Even though my dad is a seaman and is always away, his presence was more fomidable than my mom's

I grew up surrounded with books and different game consoles. If you would ask me what's my favorite toy back then, it was my mom's typewriter. Not because I was that serious, but I just like the the sound it makes especially when i "type" fast. I loved that typewriter so much so that my first ambition was to become a scriptwriter.
I never had the chance to have a second ambition. Maybe I never really needed one.

However, this need to be a scriptwriter induced me to always learn more. There's a lot of things in this world waiting to be discovered and I feel like it's waiting for me.
Reading became my therapy and elixir. It also became my oasis for random trivias, ideas and mantras that I live by.
I am competitive, and when push comes to shove, and I have to push a rival in a manhole in order for me to win, I will do it. No hesitations.
I am secretly manipulative and I like being dumb on the surface. Believe me, it makes a lot of things easier for me.
I am fickle too. I choose who I want to be friends with, sounds pretentious right? But then again, no one wants to be with an addict, unless you are too.

I easily get obsessed on the most unusual things. I call it my "phases." Last month, I was obsessing on getting a Masters Degree on Literature, Franz Kafka and his ideas of non conformity.
This month I'm on my torn jeans,DB shirts,jam legend,waterball and tanning obsession.

I believe in my freedom. When Jean Paul Sartre mentioned about men being condemned to be free, I'm sure he was talking about me.
Although a part of me believes that love is overrated. I believe in soulmates. it was about the best thing you could have-better than a tattoo ro henna patterned nails or a cappucino maker.
Statistics are true that the world is a velcro. most of us fall from the standard deviation, but there are outliers. if we believe in the existence of jerkiness,and some of us do, then we also have to accept the importance of the opposite extreme.

I had my heart broken on the last week of March, it is one of the most traumatizing experience I had in my life. Worst than taking Accounting Classes three times, and way worse than having your guts ripped out of you suddenly. At least, with the ripping your guts out part, you'd be dead before the whole process is over, with being heartbroken, every day is one survivor game. Outwitting your alter ego, Outplaying your negative thoughts and Outplaying your urges to retaliate.

I might sound bitter by saying this, but everyone should get their hearts broken at least once in their life. It teaches them a lot of things that they'll never learn by being cocooned in their own safe world.
I am still undergoing the process of "healing" and thankfully, I have a lot of time in my hands, as one of my close friend said, you are not given these problems only to feel pain but to learn from it and use the learning to help others.

I have a love hate relationship with my work as a Customer Service Assistant in Aboitizland. It keeps me high for 9 hours straight and keeps me craving for a 12-hour sleep during weekends. It makes me frustrated, impatient, nauseated and angry. I love the fact that we get to interact with alot of different people from
Speaking of which, I've been taking anger management lessons via Nintendo DS, I've come to accept the fact that some things are unchangeable and belting out your frustrations all at once doesn't really help you in the long run.

Jean Paul Sartre once said, Man first of all exists, encounters himself, surges up in the world--and defines himself afterwards.

I exist , I've encountered my real self, I am surging in the real world, and as i continue this journey called life, I am defining myself.

Existentialism, they name is Nym

No comments: