Best Friends, Birthdays, Bohol, used to, and THE TALK

Tomorrow is a Saturday. One of those rare saturdays that I won't get to see you.
Prolly I should get used to it, considering that would be the kind of Saturdays I'm going to have for the rest of my life.

Truth is, I'm not ready to see you, but I can't help not seeing you, so my best friend suddenly had this idea of visiting our pregnant friend in Talisay and just stay there for the whole day.
Technically away from you, not by choice though. sigh, i will soon learn to get used to the safe sound of it.
I just go in from the office, for some random reason, I smelled my hair. It's smells of jeep dust.. which reminds me of your hair scent when you used to pick me up here from TERI.
god i miss you so.
I don't want to know where you're partying this Saturday Night. I want to stop this hurt.
I'll be at my cousin's house. It's Ace's birthday. I'm scared cause I know they'll be flogging me with questions as to where you are and what happened.
I don't think I can handle that.
Jeszha will be coming over tomorrow to borrow a knapsack from me. I haven't asked permission for the Bohol Holy Week yet but i'm crossing my fingers on it.

I have a friend from work, his name is JGarban. We had a very emotional talk about my situation. My current situation also happened to him (he=ryan). He said something that openned up a whole new truths that I know now.

"being in a relationship is a responsibility. when you cheated on him, you were being irresponsible. magpaka disente nalang unta ka ba nga imu siyang gibuwagan kaysa imu tung gibuhat. no offense, pero pagka iresponsable nalang jud nimu. If you think nga katong months nga ga balik mo kay all was forgotten and forgiven, torture to sa iyaha. Ryan might know that honest ka sa iyaha 100% sa gabalik mo, pero lahi naman gud, dili na pareha sa una nga musalig siya nimu."

then i started crying. right in front of Belo Medical Clinic in the Terraces. Then I told him I'm scared, and he asked me if I'm scared that Ryan is going to find out someone else at this time, and he said no, he's not. He needs time to think, to quote "in his own pace". And the best thing that I gave Ryan is this time to think.
another night of vodka-induced sleep.